honolulu.

one year ago today my feet took me to the East West Center Hawaii for a much needed intellectual pursuit of sorts. being with stimulating academics does wonders to slackers like me. they made me realize that i COULD make a difference and that everyone IS a vehicle for change. i came back to the Philippines with a dead on perseverance to do development work for the underprivileged and marginalized. i always knew what i liked to do career-wise but it was not till last year that i was determined to be perfect at my line of work.

i have been doing a swell job up until last week.....

a few days ago i got into a disturbing argument with my senior officer about my adamant voicing out of the sheer stupidity of bureaucracy at the institution i work with. and i thought red tape was a thing of the past. apparently, my workplace is filled to the brim with shitload of bureaucratic redtape. regardless of one's efficiency and good work ethics one should learn to (always) suck up and kiss the ass of the boss' executive assistant or else she badmouths you to the queen mother herself. i am not one to kiss someone else's behind just so that i can advance myself up the corporate ladder.  nope. not my style. this lesson i learned too late in this thing i call my career.

allow me to call this executive assistant... THE Biatch.

THE Biatch is a sweet, smiling, pleasant looking verminth who has the face of an angel but has the makings of the anti-Christ himself. she will twist your words so that it comes out that you are a worthless employee who sits on your ass doing nothing 8 hours a day.

there is no love lost between THE Biatch and I. she hates me for my beauty and intellect (yeah riiiggghhht) and i abhor her for her deviousness. little did i know that she was strategically feeding my boss, the queen mother with subliminal negative comments about me. the worst part of it is that the queen mother believed her and confronted me with it. in turn, I defended myself and rebutted every single accusation thrown my way... to no avail. in one hour the queen mother managed to destroy my self-esteem and 15 years of work experience. all because of false lies and redtape.

is it worth fighting it out and proving the queen mother wrong? is it worth scratchingTHE Biatch's eyes out? is it even worth the effort at all?

work should be fun. work should be waking up in the morning looking forward to a fulfilling albeit tired day. work should be what drives one to be a better person.

it shouldn't be filled with negativity and threats and mistrust. and it sure as hell shouldn't be this stressful.

i can never forget my friends at the university say, "he hale kou."you are always welcome here.

i left my heart in honolulu and i'm regretting coming back home to this shithole.